conflict Archives — Congregational Consulting Group

The Lost Art of Listening and the Role of Congregations

rabbit with one ear up — Sandy Millar on Unsplash

This presidential election year reminds us, once again, how deeply polarized we are as a nation. The faithful on both extremes of the political spectrum live in separate echo chambers, fueled by social media and the news channels they choose to watch. I am also susceptible to this phenomenon!

A key factor that sustains and deepens polarization is a lack of listening. Listening to build connections is challenging when some folks are closed off and opposed to taking in new information. I know that some of you are thinking that this is an obvious statement. We all know that when folks listen well, it improves relationships and can heal interpersonal breakdowns, but what sounds simple is really quite difficult.

Two Questions That Will Help Your Board Stop Micromanaging

by Dan Hotchkiss

Microscope — Karen Arnold, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons

Most boards know they shouldn’t micromanage. Meddling boards irritate their staff and volunteers and stifle creativity. Boards lack the day-to-day involvement a good manager should have. Most board members know that, but still when people bring us questions, we give answers. We just can’t resist!

Pairing the Process with the Problem

by David Brubaker

three pairs of pliers — JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

In the life of every congregation, problems will eventually surface. Such challenges may involve disagreements and conflict, genuine harm, or more serious allegations of misconduct. Pairing the process with the problem requires discernment about the nature of the problem, as well as a suite of relevant processes. An effective response may also require the involvement of the local judicatory and/or outside mediation or consultation.

Social Movements and Congregational Responses

by David Brubaker

Congregations often experience conflict in response to social movements in the world around them. Since World War II, movements regarding civil rights, the war in Vietnam, the ordination of women, and human sexuality—each vitally important in its own right—also have raised challenges inside congregations, forcing leaders to address internal questions of power and culture.

Want Less Conflict? Look Out the Window!

by David Brubaker

Window seat — Chapter House Window
Convento de Cristo, Portugal

Eighteen years ago, I surveyed 100 congregations in the American southwest regarding their experience of change and conflict in the previous five years. Only one change was negatively associated with conflict—meaning that it made conflict less likely. Congregations that started a “new community outreach” in the previous five years were less likely to report a significant conflict than similar congregations that did not.

Why Lone Rangers Always Fail

by David Brubaker

Leading a successful change process in a congregation, even a very traditional one, is possible. But to do so, a leader must earn the right to make that change and partner with others to make it happen. Lone-ranger leaders who ride into Dodge and transform an entire community exist only in the movies. In the reality of congregational life, we need a patient posse.

Learning to Underreact

by Dan Hotchkiss

Criticism: it’s ubiquitous in congregations. No matter how we leaders pretzel-twist ourselves to please people, we fall short—and there are always helpful, caring people who will take the time to tell us so!

The worst thing we can do is overreact. Whether by proclaiming innocence or by fighting criticism with more criticism, leaders who respond too strongly only up the emotional ante. That’s why underreacting is a key skill for every leader.

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